The Limits of Power & Change

If there’s one thing I’ve heard more then anything else it is the sentiment that “this is the way things are and nothing can change.” That somebody just has always been abusive or that they can’t help that they always get angry or that they’re fat or that they’ve got difficulty making friends or that they can’t sit still for five minutes to listen to their boyfriend talk about some problem.

“Why are people stupid? Because nothing more is expected of them.”

We are all individuals with problems and inner demons to overcome, some more than others. The commonality we all share is that we CAN do something about them. It is possible to overcome the limitations we have and become, strong. I will talk frequently in this blog about strength, about power, about becoming “strong.” It is all contingent on maximizing your ability to combat weakness in yourself and adhere to character traits that will make you strong.

It is difficult to be nice to those who are mean to you. It is difficult to be tactful, difficult to be a leader, difficult to know when to follow, difficult to not take advantage of someone when you could, difficult to not smoke when you’ve been smoking for thirty years, difficult to be great when you always knew you were nothing more than trash.

It is difficult, to be strong. But that is what separates the weak from the strong. Do you give into temptation or not? The more you embrace weakness the more weak you will be. How did a murder or rapist or abusive husband get to where they were?

“The road to hell is a gentle slope, without sign posts or markings.”

The first step in becoming strong is the ability to distinguish truth from falsehood in your life, when do you lie to yourself to just look at pornography for a bit, or just to smoke once? You must assess your own life and understand the nature of your own limitations. Life is difficult, if yours isn’t then you’re doing something wrong.

Regarding Purpose & Worth

It is difficult with such things to know where to begin. Since this will be a meandering journey, might as well start here.

It is the nature of the beast to prey on the weak and be afraid of the strong.

I have struggled for years with what is the point of my life, why am I living, what am I doing, why am I here? This question of purpose is closely related with efficacy and worth. When I say worth it is synonymous with self-value. Am I important to myself? Do I consider myself to have intrinsic value? Sometimes the answer seems like it has been no.

I have fought alone for years. Solitude, loneliness, depression, isolation, fear, despair. These have been my watch words. I know I’m not alone in this war against such filth. This is the mind poison that seeks all of us out to waylay us. It is difficult to fight. I have heard the chaos in my mind telling me to give up; that everything is pointless, that nothing can change, nothing will change; that I will ALWAYS be trash.

I don’t want drugs, I don’t want “therapy,” I don’t want help. I am defeat this. I will become strong.

These were the kinds of things I have thought in the past. And I have fought and I am winning. How am I winning, how can any of us prevail against the power of the dark?

Belief. In order to become strong you must choose to become strong. The simplicity of that statement belies the complexity and difficulty of achieving it; for it must be built, forged through discipline, decisive action, and a complete understanding of the nature of your personal failure and what needs to be done to overcome it. You must have a plan for the person you wish to become. You must, irregardless of anything else or anyone else, decide to believe in yourself. That you have value as a person, that “that” fact will not change.

I have sometimes in my long struggle thought of it in such terms:

“That I emerged from the forest of death onto a lonely hill, devoid of life and that the Sun burst through the shroud, dazzling on me. But the Night would not give up its prisoner, and I stood and watched them battle on the edge of forever.”

Do not be a spectator in your own life.